


Crushed

by two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat



Category: Lumberjanes
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I had to type in all of the Zodiacs' names manually, I promise, I will help forge the tags from the early days of fandom, Introspection, Lesbian Jo, There must be an equal balance of both, bi april, do you know how sad that was, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22413094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat/pseuds/two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat
Summary: April doesn't have a crush on Jo.Why would she have a crush on Jo?Sure, Jo's the prettiest girl April knows, and she's also the kindest, and the smartest, and she has the nicest laugh...But April doesn't have a crush on Jo.She swears.
Relationships: Jo/April (Lumberjanes)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 30





	Crushed

**Author's Note:**

> this ship is a ship i like, but alas, it has very little content. so there i was about an hour ago thinking to myself, 'wait a minute, i'm a content creator, i should do something about it' and now we're here.

“Do you ever think about that sort of thing?” Asked April.

“Which sort of thing?”

“The relationship sort.”

Jo shrugged. “Not really. I guess it’s just not something I think about too much.” She looked up from her book, meeting April’s large orange eyes. “Why do you ask?”

“I guess it’s just…” she flopped down beside Jo on the bunk. “Well, Mal and Molly are The Camp Couple. With the capital C’s and everything. And they're cute as junk, and I know everyone agrees on it, and they love each other so much. It radiates off of them, in waves. And now Diane and Hes got together - I mean, who would thought that would even work out, right? But they love each other too. And I guess now I’m just thinking.”

“Oh?” Jo couldn’t stop herself from grinning. “ _Sounds like someone’s got a crush._ ”

April felt herself turning red. “Me? Having a crush? Nope. Never.” She laughed nervously. “Not I, the Fierce and Noble April.”

“Three boy bands, four girl bands, Jackson from fourth grade, Alice from fourth grade, Mai from the fifth grade and Jenna from eighth all beg to differ,” said Jo.

“I don’t have a crush.”

“Oh _come on_ April,” Jo said, giving April a playful little punch to the arm. “You know it’s safe to talk about with me. You’ve been telling me all the people you’ve liked since, what, kindergarten? I can go back and do the names again, if you want, I definitely forgot some people-”

“You’re being silly, Jo,” April was suddenly sitting up very straight, her hands behind her back. “I don’t have a crush. I was just trying to let you in on some of the camp gossip. That’s all.”

“Okay, okay. I was just kidding around, anyway.”

“I just thought you might need to know what was happening. You live under a rock, Jo.”

“Do not!”

“Do to!”

"Oh yeah? Tell me _exactly_ what happened to Barney in the woods last night when they thought they saw Mothman."

"Well..."

And then that was that, and the topic of conversation shifted to the Racoon Rodeo, and then to the quality of the cafeteria food, and then to hunting for aliens with Emily (which was apparently quite the adventure). Jo let the subject drop, and April was grateful for that. Mostly because she’d been lying.

She had a crush on Jo.

* * *

It wasn't a big crush. Or at least, that's what she told herself. It was just a small one, really. Nothing she couldn't handle. It had only existed for, what, a few years, now?

Of course, it was getting bigger. That's where the whole blushing and stuttering and diverting the conversation with Mothman came in.

(Besides, Barney hadn't _actually_ seen Mothman. They'd just seen a larger-than-normal fairy. Who was cosplaying Bigfoot. In the woods at night.)

(Not that Jo knew that - she did kind of live under a rock.)

It wasn't too big of a crush though, so it wasn't too big of a problem. Sure, some part of April wanted to spend every waking minute at Jo's side, and she wanted to make Jo laugh, because oh boy, Jo had the prettiest laugh. And yes, April did spend many a night writing Jo's name in glitter pen in her notebook, surrounded by little pink heart stickers. And okay, maybe that didn't seem like it was a 'small crush' sort of thing. But April kept telling herself it was. She repeated it every time she got that fluttering feeling in her stomach when she saw Jo, heard her name, heard her voice. It was almost a mantra - _I'm not in love with Jo. It's just a small crush. I'm not in love with Jo. It's just a small crush. I'm not in love with Jo. It's just a small crush._

But then why did it feel so _big?_

Every crush she'd ever felt in the past had been tame. Almost fun. Like a brand-new game, or a secret. And April had always shared them all with Jo.

They had fun with it, with April's ability to catch feelings for anyone and everyone. Jo made a bingo board once, with squares that said things like 'IN A BAND' and 'CUTE BUTCH LESBIAN' and 'LIKES MERMAIDS'. For every crush, Jo would go to fetch a bingo board and see how many squares she could cross off. It was always fun.

This... having a crush, on _Jo..._ well, it's not like it wasn't fun. But it wasn't the easiest crush April had ever had.

It was personal.

April and Jo had been best friends since _diapers._ They were put in the bath together as toddlers by their parents. And somehow, they managed to continue that friendship, and it had become this beautiful, unbreakable thing. It was nice and warm and cozy, but overall, it was _safe._ Being just-friends with Jo was safe.

Because what if April told Jo about her just-a-small-crush?

What if Jo rejected her?

(Jo... would probably reject her.)

(But she would be kind about it, because Jo was kind. She would let April down easy, with a "I love you, April, but more as a friend. Let's just be friends, okay?" and that would be that and they would go on pretending like something had never happened. Because that's just how Jo was.)

April wasn't sure how she would take it if Jo rejected her.

She didn't want to find out.

* * *

Ripley was the first one to ask her about it, which was odd, because Ripley had never really struck April as the kind of person to notice how other people felt about each other. She'd always thought that, if anyone was going to realize her feelings for Jo, it would be Molly. Or Mal. Or probably Jen. Maybe even Jo, if she really looked, for once. Pretty much anyone in the entire Roanoke cabin aside from Ripley.

But Ripley was the first to ask, and April had to give her that.

It was when they were on one of those long, boring hikes, the ones where Jen made them look at plants and nothing but plants and she taught them the Latin names for plants and sometimes they would all see some beautiful, mythical creature just off the path, but Jen wouldn't let them go chasing after it because "Oh come on girls we have badges to earn" and "I refuse to let you continue to break your own record for Most Camp Rules Broken In 24 Hours" and "That's not even a real jackalope, honestly, haven't you heard of taxidermy?"

Except during this hike, Mal and Molly walked behind the rest of them (probably so they had many prime opportunities for sneaking short kisses behind trees) and Ripley was bouncing ahead, and Jen was racing to catch her, so Jo and April were stuck walking strictly in the middle, side-by-side, on a very thin trail that squeezed them very close together. So of course Jo started out by holding April's hand, and then just a few minutes later re-adjusting so that her arm was actually draped around April's shoulders as they walked, and April couldn't even have a normal conversation anymore. She was so scared that Jo would be able to sense it on her, the nerves, the hope, the adoration. Jo and April had known each other since _diapers._ Since before they could even talk.

Jo knew April better than April knew April. 

"Are you nervous?" Asked Jo. Her voice was soft.

"Me? Never. I'm too jacked to be nervous." April tried to end her sentence with a chuckle, but it sounded more like she was choking.

"Are you sure?" Jo stopped walking, for a moment. "You know you can tell me anything, right? You don't have to hide things from me. I'm always here for you." 

_But would you still be, if I told you the truth? How I stay up at night thinking about you, I watch you like some creep? You're supposed to be my best friend, Jo, I'm not supposed to think about you this way. And I'm supposed to tell you everything._

_Why can't I tell you everything?_

"I'm sure," said April.

Jo nodded, and then they walked for a bit more.

And then Jen called Jo up to wherever she was, looking at weeds near the edge of a clearing, and April took a break from walking to just lean up against a tree and mentally slap herself for being so awkward and so, so obvious.

And then Ripley was there. 

"Are you and Jo dating?" Asked a voice from above.

"What? What the-?"

April watched as the human-child equivalent of a cannonball jumped out of the tree she was leaning against and landed (read: tumbled and fell) right in front of her.

"Ripley, how the _junk_ did you even get there."

She shrugged. "I like climbing things."

"Huh."

"So are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Dating Jo."

"No! Why would you even think - we're just friends."

"You guys were holding hands and being all close and stuff back there. And then Jo got all scared and soft and stuff when you seemed off, and she's kind and all, but that's not the same tone she uses when the rest of us are hurt or whatever, and I just thought-"

"We're not dating, Rip," said April. "I promise."

"Oh." Ripley nodded, and then pulled her face into an odd expression, like deep-thinking and seriousness, both of which looked rather odd on her. "Well, you should be dating her, you know. I think she likes you."

And then, before April could say anything else, Jen was up and calling them all to the front of the trail, telling them to keep walking.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Asked April. She looked around the Roanokes's cabin - there was Ripley, on one of the bunks, underneath her standard pile of ten blankets, and then there were Mal and Molly, sitting next to each other, holding hands but still managing to look fierce while they approached April, and then there was Jen, turning the lights out in the cabin and putting a bright flashlight on. And... the Zodiacs were here, too?

Yes, that was right. The Zodiacs. Because she could see Hes and Diane huddling in the corner, and Barney somewhere off to the side with Marigold, and Wren was just sort of chilling nearby as Emily pulled the blinds in the most dramatic way possible.

"This is an intervention," said Jen. She sounded tired.

"Where's Jo?" Asked April.

"We sent her out to Rosie, said that she needed some help solving a logic puzzle," Diane said. "Should keep her busy for a while."

"Logic puzzles take Jo an average of five to fifteen minutes to figure out," said April.

"Don't worry, it's not a real one. There's no answer."

April scrunched up her face in concern. "Now that's just cruel."

"We're getting off topic," said Jen. "This is an intervention."

She shined the bright beam of the flashlight into April's eyes, and April pushed it away.

"Jeez," she said. "Could you please get that out of my face? And what do you mean, 'an intervention'? Is this because of the Black Market Glitter Operation that's being run behind the Arts and Crafts Cabin? Because if that's the case I know _nothing_ about the sequin-smuggling and also I would like to have a judge and a witness, please."

"This isn't about the Black Market Glitter Operation," said Jen, sounding even more tired than before. "Though we'll pick back up on that later."

"It's about you and Jo," said Ripley.

"What about me and Jo?"

"You're in love with each other, and we're sick of watching you dance around your feelings."

Mal raised her hand. "As someone who spent the first few weeks of camp dancing around her feelings, I agree."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Diane rolled her eyes. "Do we have to be so specific about it? We're talking about all the longing glances you keep sharing with your girlfriend, and the hand-holding, and the flirting, and all that over-the-top adorable stuff."

"And the fact that they won't admit they love each other," added Wren, from where she lurked.

"Yes. That, also."

"So we have called you today to get you to confess your feelings to Jo," said Jen. "Mostly because the rest of us are too junkin' tired to keep watching you stare longingly at each other every hour of the day."

"How-?"

"Don't worry, we're gonna come up with a plan. Sit down. And we'll cover the Black Marget Glitter Operation later."

* * *

They formulated a plan. And by 'they' of course I mean 'everyone but April and Jo.'

And the plan was rather simple: have April kiss Jo.

Bam. Problem solved. Instant relationship.

The exact planning for the plan went something like this -

"You're going to seduce her," said Diane.

And then April blushed and felt awkward again, and everyone immediately shouted something along the lines of "DIANE WE TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING IT THAT."

And then Diane just shrugged, looked April dead in the eyes, and said, "Seduce. Her. She already loves you, so it won't be hard."

And after all of the shouting between Diane and everyone else about whether or not it was actually appropriate to use the term 'seduction' in this case, they did manage to formulate a real plan.

"We're putting you on a canoe together."

"A canoe? What is this, some sort of sitcom?"

"Yes. Well, kind of. Ripley's been filming a bunch of it, she hopes to make a movie someday, so we're kind of playing on tropes."

"How come no one told me Ripley was filming a movie??"

"We can talk all about that later, _after_ you confess your undying love for Jo."

"That made it sound a bit extreme," said Diane.

"Like seduction didn't?"

"Anyway," said Molly, "we're putting you in a canoe together. And you're going to talk about your feelings."

" _And make sure to avoid river_ monsters," said Mal.

"What should I say?"

"All of that junk you talk about in your sleep, and in the showers when you think we can't hear you. 'You have the prettiest laugh, and the kindest smile, and you're the smartest person I've ever met and you're beautiful and I want to have your children-'"

"YOU HEARD ALL OF THAT??"

"We can discuss it, _later_ ," said Jen, through gritted teeth. "Now go get in that canoe and sort this mess out."

* * *

"I still don't understand what's going on," said Jo, sounding incredibly confused.

They were indeed in a canoe. They had no paddle. They were attached to the dock by a rope, but just barely, and there were a few merpeople that kept popping up above the water to say hello to April or just try to find out what was going on.

April looked to the shore, a sort of silent call for help. But all her friends did was smile and high-five each other with excitement. Barney gave her a thumbs-up. And though they were almost too far away to make out the fine details and features of anyone's faces, April could have sworn she saw Diane mouth 'SEDUCTION'. Though it was probably a trick of the light.

"Well," said April. "They pushed us out here to talk about our feelings."

"Oh. Wait. Do they think we, like, go into a fight or something? Because we definitely have not gotten into a fight recently - that really doesn't happen that often with us."

"It's, um, it's not that. It's kind of the opposite, really."

"What?" Said Jo. And then it was like something finally clicked in her head, and she said, "Oh. _Oh._ "

"Yeah," said April.

For a moment, they just sat there, the little ripples of the lake lapping gently against the outside of the canoe, rocking them just the slightest bit back-and-forth. April looked at Jo. She looked at her beautiful brown eyes and her pretty hair and how cute she was, even when she was puzzled and kind of flustered and scared (it was a surprisingly good look on her, though come to think of it April couldn't remember an expression that _hadn't_ looked good on Jo) and she just wanted to lean over and kiss her. Or give her a hug. Something.

"I'm so sorry," said Jo, suddenly. She put her hands over her face. "This is all my fault."

"Wait - what-?" It was April's turn to sound incredibly confused.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know how they found out, I never told anyone, I tried to keep it to myself. I didn't even write it down anywhere they could find it. I really, really like you, April, and I know you don't feel the same way and I respect that - I'm happy to just stay friends. But you have to know, you have the most beautiful eyes, and they sparkle when you're excited, and you're so determined and you're just adorable, and how could I not fall for that?"

"Wait," said April, dumbstruck. "You like me?"

"I love you," said Jo. "I'm sorry."

"No," said April. "Wait. But _I'm_ in love with _you_."

"No you're not," said Jo, with a wave of her hand. "How could you be. _It's me we're talking about._ But then - wait. Wait. _Wait_." Jo looked up at her again. "You really actually like me?"

"Yes," said April.

"You're not just saying that... to make me feel better?"

"No."

"Well that's cool then," said Jo, running a hand through her hair. She was smiling.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah."

Somewhere from out on the shore, Diane yelled "SEDUCTION!"

**Author's Note:**

> that's all for now lads!


End file.
